Well, here I am, writing my first blog, in my new house! It is a very delightful experience indeed. I have been in transitional moving chaos for a month now, have been filmed for CBC news and had the amazingly inspiring opportunity to speak twice at the Atlantic Horse Fair to very appreciative crowds. Throughout, the horses have been reminding me to take deep breaths, exhale aaaahs and keep my mind as quiet as possible by focusing on the peace and beauty of my surroundings.
My new home is charming, tiny, cheerful and full of light. I loved it the moment we met. It is full of possibilities and I am appreciative of it’s inspiring effect. The only thing that has been missing in it’s loveliness was a connection to the internet. For three weeks, I have been ferrying my laptop to several locations with wifi and answering business emails, uploading CBC links and fretting about this blog. Sitting in your car seat, in a hotel parking lot is not condusive to a calm demeanour in professionalism and prompt replies to business enquiries! By last Friday, my tranquility and ability to remain focused and organized was fraying into anxiety, doubt and exasperation. As the rural wireless surveyor stood and informed me, that my location was not going to pass inspection for their wireless service, that I must wait three weeks, and then enquire whether internet was even feasible, I sat and cried. After he left, frazzled and having a panic attack that this location may indeed be unsuitable to do business in, a move may be in order, perhaps this had all been a mistake, on and on my mind raced in a frenzy of doubt, mistrust, judgement and criticism of my choices and decisions. Luckily, in the midst of this cloud of despair, I heard my friend Scully say…’Relax, there is a solution.’
So, I tried to relax. Everytime, my mind would speed up with the how’s, what’s and how come’s, Scully would say ‘Reee-LAX!, stretch and exhale’. Interesting indeed. Relaxing is a practise. During my move, I had been noticing, that I kept putting off relaxing into sometime in the future, by saying, ‘When I get this box moved, I’ll be able to relax.‘ Then as soon as the box was moved, I would say, something like this…’Now, after I sweep the floor, clean off the table and get the bathroom painted, I can relax.’ The horses kept reminding me, that it was necessary to relax WHILE I was doing the activity, instead of putting it off. That the act of doing must be relaxing. So, I did do my best to relax and let the internet solution occur, but after a few hours of hemming and hawing, I went to visit Scully in person. I told her, I was ready to blow something up, I was so frustrated. That I was tired and my mood gloomy and could only see the difficulty in the situation. When she pointed out that it was all a bit amusing and that there was a point to it, my reaction was rather curt, serious and impatient.Whatever could be amusing and what possibly could be the point of having to move again and not be able to easily keep up with my business?
‘Well,’ She said.’ Awhile ago, you asked us how you could improve your abilities in focusing and communicating with us more clearly, with less emotional entanglements…remember we suggested you unplug the TV and spend a lot less time on Facebook and surfing the internet? Well, without the internet the last few weeks, you have been forced to do this! It’s been really beneficial for you, the film shoot for CBC and the success of your talks in proof! So it is kind of amusing how it all has come about!’
Then, she turned around, and pushed her bum up to the stall door, stated she was sore from so much jumping in her first clinic of the season and recommended that I continue to relax by giving her some Reiki. After, an hour of standing and receiving some energizing, calming energy myself, my friend Wendy happened by, hearing about the internet frustrations, she made some helpful suggestions. The possibility of a solution occurred. Then, upon my return home another suggestion was on my answering machine! And guess what? That suggestion was the solution! And miracles of miracles, thank you internet guides, here I am writing this blog! So if you are frazzled by a problem, be aware of the action of relaxing, as Scully says, you have to relax and keep relaxing to let the solution occur, but be assured there is one!